I put it out there a few days ago. Asking people to give me some insight into that moment that they finally felt "good enough". What did I get.....crickets. So I decided to start engaging in face to face conversations and ask the question. When was the moment that you felt "good enough" and why they felt no one replied to me. I had one person tell me that people don't want to look at their pain. It's not what attracts them to wanting to connect. It's an interesting thought because it's been my experience that it is the one thing that tends to connect us all. Another person told me that when thinking about my question she began to run through all the reasons why she wasn't good enough through her head. She explained never feeling like she's had that one turning point to grasp on to. Times of feeling good enough were fleeting and disregarded. It was interesting that her mind went searching for the proof that she was not.
The mind is a tricky thing. When we hold a limiting belief like "I'm not good enough" all of a sudden we will find the proof and then what happens... well we get to be "right". It's amazing how much a belief that we hold can actually create our reality. So then it must go without saying that when we change the belief we get to change our reality!
1) Where's your focus?
Are you looking at all the ways you are not good enough or have you acknowledged where you have shown up as more than good enough? It's kinda like the 80/20 rule. Okay go ahead and check the 20% for areas of learning and improvement but please make it brief and avoid bathing in it. Then refocus on the 80% of the awesomeness of who you are. The reality is that once you practice this that 20% will become simply an opportunity for learning and will with time become fleeting and disregarded.
2) Whatcha thinkin about?
We have 60,000-90,000 thoughts a day. How many of yours are the same thought over and over again? What if that thought was loving kind and compassionate? What if you spoke to yourself in your head the same way that you talk to your best friend? What would you say to yourself in that case? Go ahead....what would you say? How would you tell your best friend that they are more than good enough? Because if you can see it in them, guess what, it's IN YOU!
3) Avoid Comparison!
Comparison is the root of all unhappiness. What else do you need to know about that?! The people you compare yourself to are comparing themselves to you or someone else...STOP IT! We are all on our own journey and I read once you cannot compare where I'm at on my journey with where you're at on yours.
When was the last time you were compassionate with yourself in the same way you are with others? Try it. What does it sound like, look like and feel like?
5) Seek Support
When you can't pull yourself out of the place of never feeling good enough seek help. Find someone who will not simply sit in your pain with you but that will help pull you out. The caveat is you must be willing. You don't need to know how, you just need to be willing.