 Yesterday..... I was ready to give up. Give up on the dream. Give up on what brings me joy. Give up on me. It isn't the first time and it probably won't be the last. Yesterday, the voice in my head beckoned me to stop sacrificing my family and their needs for my selfish dream. Yesterday I focused on lack. Yesterday my dream was insignificant. Yesterday everyone around me was "suffering" so I could live my purpose. Yesterday I hated myself. Yesterday I chose everyone else's needs before my own. Yesterday I was sad, alone, tortured and "in my shit". Yesterday I was 3 feet from gold and I was gonna say fuck it. Yesterday the "grey zone" looked enticing and promising and well to be honest comfortable.
Today.... I decided to choose. Today I decided my cup was empty and I needed to refill it. Today I decided to believe in me. Today I choose to have hope and see the possibilities. Today I know who I am and how I may serve others. Today I am in my power and love myself. Today the future is bright and abundant. Today I trust and today I have faith. Today I surrender and today I recognize that my dream has worth. Today I AM. Tommorrow.... who the hell knows! So I'm going to choose to stay in Today.
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 I am a mom of three very different children. All of them are sensitive in their own ways. My daughter, from a very young age, I remember her not wanting to be apart from me. Then for periods of time, she would go to her grandparents or friends house for visits without me. At the age of 8, life became overwhelming for her. She became more of a "mommy's girl" and I was less able to do anything without her attached to my hip. During that year her grandfather (my father) passed away so we all pointed fingers to that. At 9 years it got even more intense and more difficult for her on a daily basis. She didn't want to attend school, which she LOVED or play with friends, even at home. Often when we would walk in the door from being out she would fall to the ground and cry. It was at this point my husband and I began looking more into what help we could get her. We knew that when puberty hit we would be in huge trouble.
Our Doctor seemed to think it was normal and she was maybe going through puberty. We were not convinced. All others said it has to be something at home because she is "normal" everywhere else. I was protecting her from situations that may have caused an outburst so I looked like the bad guy. Shortly after her crying upon coming home we got her into treatment with a therapist. She specialized in children and we put all our eggs in this basket. Excited and relieved we thought we found the fix for her...man were we wrong. After exhausting months of our time and thousands of dollars, we didn't see much change in her behaviour. At the end of my parenting rope, feeling helpless and a failure to my baby girl, I asked Kelley if she had anything that would help her. I, at this point thought Kelley dealt with adults but maybe she knew someone or something. I am eternally grateful for asking this question!!! Kelley offered to meet with my daughter and see if they had any connection. I was afraid to have her get worse because we made changes to her care plan. We had an hour meeting and Kelley made her feel comfortable and warm. At this point Kelley mentioned the Quantum Change Process! I was scared because it seemed like something for adults and too much for my 10 year old to handle. Boy was I wrong! They discussed this and my daughter was excited to try. And this in of itself was huge. She never got excited for things anymore. The way home from that meeting she was more talkative and interested in what this was going to be. We made the appointment and that was the beginning of my baby girl back. We went into the appointment curious, scared and excited together. She found out some amazing things while I was in the room and then, my daughter was comfortable enough to ask me to leave while they finished up. I cried tears of joy as I went for a walk. As we drove home my daughter was exhausted, happy, crying and all over the map. Kelley gave me some material to read and understand what she would go through over the next week or so and how to deal with it. We followed her advise and the first week was exhausting and emotional. Slowly I started noticing her smiling more, wanting to play and go out to the park. A few short weeks later she was able to sleep at her grandmas for the first time in forever. This was huge!!! She is now able to go for bike rides and hang with friends without me by her side. It is because of Kelley and her amazing gift that I have my 10 year old happy daughter back. I can't thank Kelley enough for what she has done for my family. |
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